Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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