I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
