i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
