Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
