So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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