you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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