Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We talked him into tasing himself.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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