I'm gonna have a badass scar
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
