and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
