She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i think i have herpe
just one?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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