Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
