I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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