YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
