i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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