Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
