i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
