So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
