You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Randomize