cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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