Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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