Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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