Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
