Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
