i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
