Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
