what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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