Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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