Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
