ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
