Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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