If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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