I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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