Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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