I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
stop calling my apartment porn island.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
