just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You're a waste of cheezeits
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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