I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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