i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
