Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
