There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize