I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
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Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
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How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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