I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
