I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
