in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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