she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
