:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
