he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
