Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i wish my penis had a tongue
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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