Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
