What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
