You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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