giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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