I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
it's like iHOP with fire
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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