Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
