So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
