Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
