I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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