Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
