I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
