I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Randomize
