Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
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College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
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I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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