its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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