I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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